the only thing worse than bad memories is no memories at all

Things that annoy me about New Slang:
1. People asking me, "Excuse me, do you work here?"
No, I'm just stood by the door, wearing my shirt that says "STAFF", clutching the mailing list and generally making sure nothing goes wrong. If you are either too drunk or too stupid to realise that, your night should probably end there.

2. People who think they can take drinks outside when they're smoking.
There are two big fuck-off signs that say "NO DRINKS BEYOND THIS POINT". So why do you look at me incredulously when I say, "Sorry, you can't take that drink outside."? It is not your god-given right to flout licensing laws just because you are too WEAK to be able to survive without the ridiculous waste of money and health that is cigarettes.

3. People who generally disrespect the bouncers.
The reason you're in a headlock is because you're a dickhead. The bouncers are there for your safety and if there's an emergency in the club, they will be your greatest ally. If, in your infinite wisdom, you decide that it's ok to call them a cunt after they've given you a verbal warning for some misdemeanour or another, then you can fully expect them to use force against you. It's something called respect. Generally I make a rule of not calling people twice my size a cunt, or having fights in clubs, but if that's what you're into then you can fully expect to get what you deserve.

4. Sean or Jon playing Salt, Peppa and Spinderella when I'm busy loading out.
This is neither cool or funny. This song should only be played in the last hour of New Slang when I am tired and stressed, so that I can kick back and have a little dance.


Aside from that, I freakin' love New Slang.

Tonight I am playing for a Surbiton HC Mixed Uni Leaver's XI against the Surbiton Mixed U18 XI. I am aiming to score a lot of goals.

Current listening:
The Dismemberment Plan - Emergency & I
Bloc Party - A Weekend In The City

harpsichords will save us all

So that was a pretty hectic weekend. Might as well go through the full story as there's a fair amount involved.

My mum gave me a lift home from work on Friday and I jumped on a train to Waterloo with all my gear. At Hinchley Wood, I bumped into Ian Halliday (also part of our touring side) so we had a good chat about all sorts of hockey politics before arriving in London. There we met with Saity and Captan Fatman (the only people who had arrived at the time) and were presented with our tour shirts. Red with dark blue trim, they actually looked pretty quality.

After buying a four-pack of Red Stripe for the journey, we all boarded the 18:35 train to Bournemouth and found a place next to a bike rack that had enough room for eight of us to stand. I'd also procured a pack of cards so we spent the journey playing Higher or Lower. Also, at various stops along the journey, Cpt Fat had provided us with A3 size printouts of photos from Bournemouth tours in the past. It was certain players' duty, at each stop, to put these up as posters and dance around them, then get on the train just before the doors closed.

Sadly, Matt Sheridan failed and he was left at Southampton Airport Parkway, so we all left the train at Southampton Central and waited for him to arrive on the next train. His face, as the train began to pull away, was priceless. On the left is Daryl and I having a bit of champagne while waiting for Matt to turn up.

We arrived in Bournemouth a lot later than anticipated, but we were picked up from the station by Saity's parents, whose house we would be staying in for the duration of the weekend. Having consumed a fair amount of beer, champagne, and sports drinks with various alcohol applied, I do not remember entering the house, getting ready for the night out, getting to the centre of Bournemouth, or even half the pubs or clubs we were in. I do, however, remember getting slapped by a girl who was selling shots in one of the pubs (for some reason I felt it appropriate to pinch her arse) and then at around 2am, most people left to return home. Myself, Daryl, Ian and Jimmy went to the local casino, however.

Despite becoming a member that night, I decided, in my horrifically inebriated state, that putting any money down on anything was probably a VERY bad idea. So Daryl bought us both breakfast burgers and then we went home, leaving Jimmy and Ian to play Roulette (Ian won £35).

The next morning, we were up at 9am, and I felt fairly horrific. Mrs Sait had, however, cooked us all bacon baps. One of those (and a banana + a LOT of orange juice) later, I didn't feel much better, but I certainly didn't feel like someone had sawn off my head and shat in my neck.

We were supposed to be playing beach football that morning, but sadly, the weather had conspired against us so we stayed at the Saits' and chatted until about 1pm when we decamped via minibus to Bournemouth Hockey Club. The club itself was quite big, also with football and rugby pitches so the clubhouse was much nicer than ours. Sometimes, despite Surbiton being one of the greatest clubs in the UK, seeing other clubs puts us to shame a little bit.

Anyhow, the game began and within 5 minutes it was obvious we were all still feeling the effects from last night. I put my back into it and eventually shook off my hangover, but we found ourselves 1-0 down, and Ian Halliday had a penalty brilliantly saved by the keeper. However, we drew level with a well taken goal from Ian, a mazy dribble ending with a well taken finish from the right, past the keeper and just underneath the backboard to the left of the goal.

We took the lead soon after through Comedy Goal #1; ball coming in from the left glanced by Fitchy towards the goal - the keeper thought it was going wide so he stood and left it, and we all watched in disbelief (he probably watched in horror) as the ball crept between him and the front post. They however drew level soon after when Daryl fouled one of their forwards, only for them to play the advantage well while Daryl and Capt Fat floundered, thinking they would take a free hit.

We regained the lead after the second half, due to a quick tactical change that the opposition couldn't counter. Our right wing, Barry Kumar, took a ball hard in the foot, so while he recovered I switched to his position and he went up front. Ian picked the ball up in centre midfield and I cut in from a wide right position and latched onto a superb through ball, before putting the ball away with some finesse into the corner. 3-2 to Surbiton Surbiton.

Again, they drew level (with a very fortuitous foot that the umpire claimed not to hsave seen) but again we reclaimed the lead when I pounced upon a loose ball in the D and headed it past their keeper. I'm still unsure how the ball went in, but the umpire said the goal would stand. 4-3 up. They equalise. Again.

Finally, with mere seconds to go, a horrific mistake from one of their defenders allowed Jimmy Wickens to latch onto a loose ball and bobble it past the keeper's reach to make the final score 5-4. RELIEF.

Post-match, a few beers and a game of touch the cup help us to all wind down before being taken away by a slightly drunk Mr Sait in the van. A 40-minute power-nap later, and we're getting ready for a meal at Lastrada in Bournemouth. I order my food then promptly forget what I've asked for, causing much confusion at the table. Barry and Terry Kumar both leave us to get the train home, we pay and then make our way to a club in the centre of town. I don't know the name of the club, nor do I really care, there's a lot of cheese music. Jimmy and myself have a walk round to see if there is any rock or indie being played in either of the smaller rooms, upon our return (fail) we both raise smiles to the likes of Queen and Van Halen being played.

More smiles are raised when a group of young ladies come and dance near us, including this fine young filly on the right, who we nicknamed "Bob The Builder". Highlights of the evening included the Dance-off Competition (won by Matt Sheridan), Tony Haycroft's high kicks when dancing with the ladies on the table next to us, and all of us spending only £20 and getting constant drinks. Good shit.

At around half 3, everyone decided to leave but Ian and I again went to the casino, with a couple of "free £10 bet" vouchers in tow. I did quite well. Well enough, in fact, to pay for my entire tour. I think I have a Roulette addiction now.

Sunday morning was, again a slight struggle (not least because we'd got back to the Saits' at 5am) but we were up and out to go and play Mini Golf. After leading the scores after 9 holes, I crumbled under pressure and ended up finishing joint-last with Fitchy. After a final (delicious) lunch at Saity's, we were dropped at the station, and said our goodbyes. I got home weary, but a bit excited because I knew Megan was coming over. We had a nice night in and although I was really tired, we watched American Psycho (she loves it, I've never seen it, I had just downloaded it) and an episode of 24 (I love it, she'd never seen it, I wanted to re-watch it and indoctrinate her).

Waking up Tuesday morning without her felt really weird. It's kindof odd how I've not known her very long yet I feel like I've known her for ages, and that we're just generally really comfortable around each other. It's really fucking cool and it's nice to feel wanted again.

Monday and Tuesday were spent working (with hockey practice on Monday evening) and then Dave and I managed to get a free slot at the Peel on Tuesday evening for a good band practice. We've finished two songs musically and structurally, one of which has lyrics, the other of which i'm yet to write some for as i don't think any of the currently written lyrics fit it well. We also jammed out a few riffs I'd written into something fast and punky and fun. It was cool.

Today I have sat at work all day doing fuckloads of shipments. As soon as I get this main project finished though, the company are paying for my car insurance YESSSSSSSS. So I might have it for the weekend. We'll see.

Current listening:
Adebisi Shank - This Is An EP...
The Arcade Fire - Neon Bible
65daysofstatic - The Destruction Of Small Ideas
Sigur Ros - Heim
Aereogramme - White Paw EP

i can feel the doubts still lingering

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y227/dodgy_del/flymagazinescan.jpg

Yeah this has pretty much made my life.

I feel like slowly, but surely, I'm helping put Kingston on the map. It fucking deserves to be on it!
In three hours time, I will be at London Waterloo, having the first drink of the weekend and looking forward to clubbing timez in Bournemouth tonight. I have packed my best shoes, some good jeans, and nifty threadz to wear. I'm going to look, as they say, "ting". I'm most likely to get utterly fucking hammered (because I've not been drunk in a while) and then fall asleep somewhere (as I'm running on about 3 hours sleep. damn you Megan, damn you.) to be rescued by my team-mates (I would hope).

Tomorrow is beach football in the morning, then hockey in the afternoon.

Then more clubbing.

I think I'll be dead come Sunday.

In my rush to think of great acoustic artists yesterday, I completely forgot a couple of Dundonians who also shiver my timbers every time they come onto WMP/my mp3 player. I played with them two years ago, one either side of me on the bill (with Frank Turner headlining) and I have never felt so musically belittled as I have at this gig. They were unbelieveable! So, without further ado, please check out: Iain Macaulay (who also plays in Spyamp) and Uncle Fritz (who is currently playing bass in Alamos). Whew. Links ahoy.

Iain Mac's album is ridiculously cheap and well worth the pennies, go get it. Fritz's debut album is available for download (for free!) from last.fm, and his second from Pet Piranha Records, also home to Mercury Tilt Switch, The A Forest, Die! Die! Die! and Dead Or American.

I don't really have too much else to say apart from I feel like gnawing my own face off. Boredom at work is a terrible thing. I could be in bed right now. I'm eating a jacket potato with tuna, it's fucking BOMB.

Current listening:
Shellac - 1000 Hurts
Johnny Foreigner - Waited Up Til It Was Light

someone, somewhere, is already bored of you

I knew that if I tried to start writing another regular blog, I would inevitably fall behind. But seeing as this is only the second entry, that means if I keep writing one blog a week, then that's not outside of my current pattern. Skills.

Anyhow, been fairly busy as per. Took Megan to Offset Festival at the weekend, and it was as awesome as I expected it to be. Best thing being that because Megan wasn't drinking, I only had a few pints over the course of our time there and it felt pretty good being able to get up on Monday morning to go to work.

After rocking up at a leisurely time of 3pm on the Saturday, we managed to catch bits of (or full sets by) in chronological order (links where I deem worthy)... Encyclopedia, Die! Die! Die!, Johnny Foreigner, Young Knives, Wire and Fightstar. Sunday consisted of Who Owns Death TV, Fight Like Apes, X-Certs, Merz, Future Of The Left, Hot Club de Paris, Blood Red Shoes, Mercury Tilt Switch, Brigade and My Vitriol. The picture on the right is of me onstage with Johnny Foreigner, which seems to be a recurring theme recently...

We left with our friend Paddy at about half 10 to get the tube/train home and were tucked up by half midnight. Having spent a fairly intense period of time with Megan, I felt a little alone on Monday night but I guess that's a good sign more than anything else. I'm seeing her at New Slang tonight, which is going to be fun as Slow Club (who I acquainted myself with further at Offset) are playing and they are good. Also playing are The Momeraths, who I'm undecided over. I might listen to them on myspace a little more.

Speaking of New Slang, I chuckled a little when I saw someone on Facebook excitedly invite Alistair (the old 'friend' of mine / law graduate who's now seeing Gee) to see Frank Turner at New Slang a few weeks ago. The last time he came to New Slang (before I knew anything was going on) he couldn't even look me in the eye so it's good to know he has all the deceitful traits needed to become a successful lawyer.

Speaking of success, there's a few things slowly moving into place which will inevitably set greater things in motion in terms of the "bigger picture" I've been aiming at for some time.

Firstly, and probably closest to home, is the state of my band, mistakes.in.animation. It's been a while since we played a gig (I can't even remember when that was, actually, the day before Ben's birthday, perhaps?) and there are good reasons for this. Firstly, I had become bored with playing the same six songs to the same (six) people whenever we gigged. I had written some new acoustic songs but I had to be completely honest with myself and admit that in fact, the whole acoustic thing has never really been what I set out to do.

After a few years doing that 'circuit' it's become really obvious to me that for the most part, I hate acoustic music. Really really hate. Even artists I look up to like Frank Turner or Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly have increasingly trodden the line of playing live with a full band (GC's second album being far more band-orientated, too) and the only acoustic artists I have recently been taken with are Paul Marshall, Klaus Says Buy The Record, and Tobias Hellkvist. Seriously, check them all out. Everything I ever tried to be as an acoustic artist will always be dwarfed by those three, among others.

So then, along with myself and Scarlett, I have been trying to piece together a band. To (almost) completely change our sound. Into something fun, into something angry, into something that might be a little more interesting than getting on a megabus to Inverkeithing to play to one man and his chip buttie. We've got about 3 or 4 new songs on the go, and last night during practice, Scarlett effectively squealed just because she was so excited at how the new stuff sounded. I don't think I've ever made a girl squeal without having to touch her first.

Secondly, This Is Not Revolution Rock, my promotions outfit, is, as they say, "going places". Aside from slowly getting bigger and better bands to play in Kingston and London, we're stepping into the murky world of releasing records - hopefully I'll have some big news as to our first signing, if things go to plan.

Thirdly, there's something REALLY big, which I'm keeping a secret for now. My closest friends will have heard me talking about it, and then said things like, "You've got a lot of bottle to take on something like that," or even just, "You're a fucking idiot and you're going to bankrupt yourself." However, I am nothing if not determined and when I get an idea that I think can work, I will chip away at it's metaphorical cliff face until it collapses into place.

Just as a little heads-up of what I'm doing over the next few months, gig-wise:

Saturday 13th September 2008 - Tubelord, Blakfish , Secondsmile, Exoskeletor - The Metro Club, London - Buy tickets here!

Saturday 20th September 2008 - Dartz! , Tubelord, Pennines - The Luminaire, Kilburn, London (14+ show!) - Buy tickets here!

Sunday 5th October 2008 - Arms And Sleepers, Jacob's Stories, + 1 band TBC - The Fighting Cocks, Kingston-upon-Thames - Buy tickets here!

Friday 10th October 2008 - This Town Needs Guns, Rotary Ten + 2 bands TBC - The Fighting Cocks, Kingston-upon-Thames

Friday 17th October 2008 - Cats And Cats And Cats, Adebisi Shank, Our Own Devices, Blakfish, Down I Go - The Fighting Cocks, Kingston-upon-Thames

Friday 7th November 2008 - Outcry Collective, Blakfish, Cut The Blue Wire, Scholars - The Fighting Cocks, Kingston-upon-Thames

Saturday 8th November 2008 - Youthmovies, Adam Gnade + Colour - The Fighting Cocks, Kingston-upon-Thames - Buy tickets here!

Saturday 15th November 2008 - Dananananaykroyd (TBC), Truckers Of Husk (ex-Jarcrew, TBC), Omes (ex-I Was A Cub Scout), mistakes.in.animation - The Fighting Cocks, Kingston-upon-Thames

Saturday 27th December 2008 - Tubelord, Colour, Blakfish - The Fighting Cocks, Kingston (INVITE-ONLY)

*************

At one of these gigs, there's a possibility that the amazing Jose Vanders might be playing, she's currently got a 30% off discount on her online shop which I have just COMPLETELY abused. You should too, because she is good.

I don't really have too much else to say, apart from that I'm going on tour with my hockey team this weekend again. So enjoy Surrey without me. x