the only thing worse than bad memories is no memories at all

Things that annoy me about New Slang:
1. People asking me, "Excuse me, do you work here?"
No, I'm just stood by the door, wearing my shirt that says "STAFF", clutching the mailing list and generally making sure nothing goes wrong. If you are either too drunk or too stupid to realise that, your night should probably end there.

2. People who think they can take drinks outside when they're smoking.
There are two big fuck-off signs that say "NO DRINKS BEYOND THIS POINT". So why do you look at me incredulously when I say, "Sorry, you can't take that drink outside."? It is not your god-given right to flout licensing laws just because you are too WEAK to be able to survive without the ridiculous waste of money and health that is cigarettes.

3. People who generally disrespect the bouncers.
The reason you're in a headlock is because you're a dickhead. The bouncers are there for your safety and if there's an emergency in the club, they will be your greatest ally. If, in your infinite wisdom, you decide that it's ok to call them a cunt after they've given you a verbal warning for some misdemeanour or another, then you can fully expect them to use force against you. It's something called respect. Generally I make a rule of not calling people twice my size a cunt, or having fights in clubs, but if that's what you're into then you can fully expect to get what you deserve.

4. Sean or Jon playing Salt, Peppa and Spinderella when I'm busy loading out.
This is neither cool or funny. This song should only be played in the last hour of New Slang when I am tired and stressed, so that I can kick back and have a little dance.


Aside from that, I freakin' love New Slang.

Tonight I am playing for a Surbiton HC Mixed Uni Leaver's XI against the Surbiton Mixed U18 XI. I am aiming to score a lot of goals.

Current listening:
The Dismemberment Plan - Emergency & I
Bloc Party - A Weekend In The City